chiNky tInKeRbeLL's rAnDoM rANts ...

I never read forwarded long emails but because Mr. Boredom doesn't want to leave me, I decided to read something interesting other than browsing profiles which some are creatively done, some are tremendously rubbish and some are hilariously funny.

This article caught me and it's very touching and meaningful to appreciate life and friendship.

Just a thought..

Listen. There comes a point in your life when all you can do is listen. You can’t seem to find the right words to say, because there are no right words to say at that particular moment. I know that because of our great desire to comfort some people we deeply care about, we feel like telling them things we think could ease their pain. But sometimes, all we can and need to do is hear them out and keep silent.

I realized this when my closest friend was crushed by heartbreak and I did not know what to do. I felt really bad. I felt useless and helpless. I tried very hard to think of some words to tell her, some courses of action to suggest to her just to make her feel better. But all my effort proved unavailing. When a person is faced with a giant heartbreak, even if you tell him/her things he/she wants and need to hear, in the end the biting reality will hit them.

So I decided to keep silent and listen to her. I told her that if she needed to tell her story every day, I won’t get tired of listening to it. At that time, all I knew was that she needed to pour her heart out and let all her suppressed emotions come out. Keeping silent was a bit awkward, but I thought it was better than pretending I knew better. And I knew that she knew it too. I did not tell her to let everything out right away. I just assured her that I was there to listen whenever she was ready.

Silence is not bad when the occasion calls for it. We do not need to say something all the time in order to help and show someone that we care. It is not every day that there is something we need to say and share. And it us not all the time that we have to find the right words to sound sympathetic or apologetic. Timing often makes a big difference.

We need not pretend to be all-knowing by telling our loved ones all the things they need to hear at a certain time. We need not pretend that we totally understand what they are going through. We need not assure them that everything is going to be fine. We just have to stay with them, period.

The power of listening is most often not appreciated, but it has been proven to be effective. Silence does not always mean you are apathetic. Silence also means you choose not to say anything because you do not want to complicate things and make the situation worse. Silence is another way of saying, “Tell me everything and I won’t judge you. I’m here for you. And I’m here to stay.” That assurance is more important than anything. And that is often more than enough.